This Is My Letter To The World
by Careysgurl637
Summary: After Buffy's death Spike feels liable for not being able to save her. While the Scooby gang tries to find a way to get her back, Spike finds his own way. Will the gang be in time to stop Spike from the unthinkable? UNFINISHED *ch.4's ingredients have bee
1. I Failed...

Disclaimer: I dont own anything with Buffy. They all belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. The title 'This Is My Letter To The World' is the title to an Emily Dickinson Poem (Please when reading the poem, read it and try to understand it the way it can go w/ the fiction, not really the way Ms.Dickinson meant it to be... yes I know that sounds stupid, but bare with me). The poem 'Acceptance' is by Robert Frost I only own the character Cora.  
  
Summary: After Buffy's death Spike feels responsible for not being able to save her. While the Scooby gang find a way to get Buffy back, Spike tries to deal with his guilt. Will the gang be in time to save Spike from the unthinkable?   
  
Rating: PG-13 for language  
  
Spoilers: I will go through everything in "The Gift"  
  
Distribution: I dont see why not, but please tell me first-- FlpDivA126@aol.com  
  
Author's Note: This picks up RIGHT where the finale left off. The words that are in astrics (ex: *blah*) are said emphatically... or... you get the point. Thoughts are in double astrics (ex: **blah blah**). Oh and I really crave feedback! Please please do review and email if you want! =o)   
  
Special Thankies: To my GREAT spankadelic beta readers-- Amy and Adrianna!! =o) Thanks to you guys for the outstanding feedback, and suggestions to make this story better! Adrianna, thanks sooo soo much for helping me find songs and stuff! Thank you 80! Thank you fellow begger! =o)  
  
  
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This is my letter to the world,  
That never wrote to me,--   
The simple news that Nature told,   
With tender majesty.  
Her message is committed  
To hands I cannot see;   
For love of her, sweet countrymen,   
Judge tenderly of me!   
  
~~ Emily Dickinson (This Is My Letter To The World)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"W-where am I?" She whipped her head around frantically, carefully observing her surroundings. At her feet, the floor was pure white marble. Hints of grey and black accented the cool floor, and the walls around her seemed to have the same design. Walls of pure marble... 20 foot columns of pure marble, and white silk curtains draping over a window. She carefully walked to the window and noticed that she was wearing a toga-like dress made of the same white silk as the curtains. It fell over her feet gracefully as the back was a few feet longer, following her like a train. She stared intently at the window, trying to find an image, but all she got was a white glow.   
"Slayer," Buffy turned around quickly and noticed a doorway that hadn't been there before. A low fog began to pour into the room from the glowing entrance. She couldn't see anyone there, but her senses told her to stay alert.  
"Who's there? Where am I?" She called out confidently. Suddenly a bright flash blinded her eyes, and within seconds her eyesight came back. Before her eyes were two beings, 'a shade of blue'- she noted, one female, the other male.  
"Slayer, welcome." The male spoke first, gesturing his hands to a chair that had appeared out of no where. She looked at it quizzically and preceded to the chair slowly.  
"Wh--" She was cut off by the female's sudden voice.  
"We," she emphatically started, putting her hands out to her sides, "are what you may call the Powers That Be. And as my brother stated before... welcome."   
"I-" Again, she was cut off, but this time it was the male.  
"You don't know what happened." The being gazed down at her, waiting for her response. Like a little child Buffy only nodded. "Well, you jumped into the hellmouth, and you died."  
"Well that was blunt." Buffy grunted out. Her attention went back to the two superior beings in front of her as the male cleared his throat.  
"What my *impassive* brother meant to say was you sacrificed yourself for all humanity. Summers' blood was the only way to close the gates of the the portal, so instead of your sister... *you* went instead. Now... you're here, with us." The sister gave a triumphant nod, as if she was superior to her brother for giving a more elaborate explanation.  
"Okay..." Buffy's voice drawled on as the two beings looked down at her semi-confused expression. "So what you're telling me is that I jumped inside the portal and died... *but* instead of going to heaven, or wherever the hell it is I'm supposed to go, I'm stuck up here with *you* two? Now can you explain to me WHY?" At this point she was standing with her arms crossed, expecting an answer. The two beings looked at each other as if silently asking each other 'do you want to take this question, or should I?'.  
Buffy let out a long sigh and walked towards the glowing window. "And why the hell do you have this thing here anyway? There's nothing to see... just some white glowing stuff, some mist and fog." She threw her hands up with another long sigh.  
"Buffy, you're here with us because you can't go to heaven. You're not done with your duty yet." The male being looked at her expressionless, which made it hard for Buffy to read his face.  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT DONE WITH MY DUTY YET? I'M DEAD! WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY DO NOW?" she exploded.  
"You may be dead, but you're still the chosen slayer. You will remain here until we know what we can do with you." The brother gave out a long, exasperated sigh and turned to the doorway. He walked out and left his sister to tend to the slayer.  
Buffy plopped down on the chair, not even trying to talk to the sister. **You may be dead, but you're still the chosen slayer.... wah wah wah** she mocked inside her head.  
"My brother can be quite a pain." Buffy was surprised by the statement of the sister. She had almost forgotten the being was even still in the room. She looked up to see her looking out the window. "But about your other question... the window," she turned around to make sure she had Buffy's attention. "This window will allow you to check on your loved ones." She gracefully touched the window pane and Buffy was startled by the picture.  
She slowly got up, approaching the the window carefully. "Th-that's me...," she whispered out.   
The sister moved out of her way and let her study the whole window. "Yes... that's true. And there... there's your friends, your family. The scene before your eyes is what's happening right now. *This* is where your life left off." Buffy only caught parts of what she said, the important parts of coarse. She was so shocked at the sight before her eyes-- in the center was her pale, limp body on top of a pile of bricks and debris; all her friends crying in shock around her; Anya unconcious in Xander's arms... or at least she hoped she was unconcious; Dawn standing on the stairs tears streaming down her face; and... Spike... Spike was crying.   
"I-I can't believe this..." She gently placed her hand on the picture of Spike's face when suddenly there was a close-up of him displayed on a square on the right-top corner of the window. She stepped back, startled, and saw his expression more clearly. Her heart sank at the sight.  
"If you touch the face of one of them they get a separate box... you get to see their life when they're seperated from the group." Buffy looked around at the window as tears threatened to fall. She placed her hand softly on Anya's face. The close-up on her looked so serene, so innocent.  
"Is sh-she... dead?" Her eyes never came off of Anya's peaceful face. The silence was so long, it seemed like an eternity. A single tear trailed down her face.  
"She's... knocked out. But I do believe she'll stay unconcious for a long while. Her time has not come yet."  
Buffy let out a sigh of relief, and touched Tara's face. **She's back to normal now** she thought with a weary smile. In the close-up Tara's cheeks were stained with tears, but Buffy could see her holding Willow with so much strength. The female being stepped back and let Buffy look at the rest of her mourning friends and family. "There are only eight lives you can look upon-- Willow's, Tara's, Anya's, Xander's, Dawn's, Giles', Spike's... and well... we dont know about your last friend just yet. If you want to have the larger view of the group together again, just pat on the face or faces you dont want to see anymore twice." Another step back. "I'll leave you now... if you need anything, dont be afraid to call." Within moments another flash of light went off behind Buffy and she was gone.  
"But who do I call..." Buffy turned around to see an empty marble room again, but this time no doorway, "...for?" She let out yet another long sigh and sat down on the chair to watch her friends.  
  
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"Dammit Spike! Help us out. We can't just leave her here!" Giles called, struggling with Buffy's limp body. Spike was curled into a tight ball, sobbing, trying to believe what just happened, and trying to block out the sun all at once. His sobbing subsided, and he uncurled letting everyone see his blood-stained face.   
Giles and Willow carefully moved Buffy to a shaded area so Spike could come and get her. Spike watched their every move. The sun glinted off of Buffy's hair and made her look like an angel. He looked heaven-ward and closed his eyes tightly. **Wherever you are pet, you've always been an angel to me** With that single thought he crawled low, careful so he wouldn't start the Barbeque effect, and stood up to where Buffy was lying. He crouched down and cradled her like a baby.  
"Watcher, get the car... or the bulldozer, or whatever the hell it is we took. Let's get 'er bloody out of 'ere." They all dispersed-- Tara with Willow, helping Xander take Anya to the hospital; Giles and Dawn left to find Spike's car. Spike was left alone with Buffy's cold body in his arms. Her hair hung down from her drooped head, and some strands lay in her face. Spike gently brushed the hair away and lightly kissed her cool forehead. "You were brave slayer... always were. You made me promise to look after the lil 'bit... be brave for 'er. I jus' dont know if I can keep that promise with the nibblet... what if... what if I mess up 'gain, eh? I-I jus' wont be able to live with m'self. I dont really know if I can live with m'self now... I.. I..." He trailed off with his soft whispers when Giles pulled up with the car.   
"Well then... let's get her home. Willow can... Willow can fix her up before burial." His voice was muffled and his head hung down low as he cleaned his glasses.  
Within minutes they were running inside the Summers household with Buffy's body. Smoke ascended off of Spike's duster as he layed the frail body down gently on the floor. "What now, mate?" His eyes never left her tranquil face.  
"Now... we wait. If we dont hear from Xander or Willow in an hour I'll go to the hospital and check on them." He wrapped a fatherly arm around Dawn, and knelt down so they were both at eye-level. "Dawn, why dont you go upstairs and get some rest. It's been a long night, okay?"  
Dawn obediently nodded, but never took her eyes off her sister. She stood still a few minutes, and slowly inched backwards to the stairs... not once looking at anything else but her sister. Spike watched Dawn's every move and slowly got up. "C'mon Dawnie, I'll go with you." He cautiously turned her around and kept his hand on her shoulder, leading her up the stairs.  
  
As they got into Dawn's room Spike handed her some white pajamas and turned around while she got dressed. They made their way to her bed, and slowly Dawn slipped inside her sheets. "Spike... thanks for helping out." Spike was tucking Dawn in bed, and was surprised by her comment. His only response was a sad smile. Dawn slipped out her hand and placed it lightly on his cheek. "Buffy would be so proud of you." Soon her eyes were glassy and a single tear streamed down. Spike looked deep in her eyes and saw a twinkle of gratitude for him. With that he gave another sad smile.  
"I-I could've saved 'er...I..." He hung his head low in disappointment.  
"No Spike... you tried, you tried and that's all that matters." She tried to smile, but she was too tired and it was too hard. Spike only nodded and stood up. He bent down and kissed her lightly on the cheek.  
"You go to bed nibblet.... you need some rest." He walked out of the room and silently closed the door behind him. He leaned backwards against the door and slid down to the floor. He put his head in between his legs and silently sobbed. **I could've saved her... I could've tried harder... It's all my fault** The thoughts were endless. Every voice in his head told him he was at fault.  
  
Giles carefully put a pillow under Buffy's head... as if she were still alive and he wanted her comfortable. "Oh dear...," he whispered out sadly and started to clean his glasses once more. He just sat next to her body for what seemed like 45 minutes. "I... I've gotta go... I can't stay here...." He quickly got back on his feet and walked to the bottom of the stairs. "Spike... Dawn, I'm going to check on Xander... stay here." He didn't wait for a response; he just left and slammed the door behind him.  
  
"SPIKE! SPIKE HELP!" Spike quickly got up and opened Dawn's door. He was mortified at the sight in front of him. Her white pajamas were stained with blood and a crimson trail led to an open window. Spike ran and caught her before she collapsed on the ground. Her wrists were slit open up to her elbows and her pajamas had slits in the stomach area.  
"Nibblet, Dawn what 'appened?" He searched her face for an explanation, but all he got were gasps for air and coughs of blood. "Dawn... Dawn!" He shook her softly, hoping she'd start to speak.  
"D-doc... he came... knife... he had.... he had a knife." She could only choke out a few words.  
"Doc? Doc was here?" He looked around frantically and saw the open window. "No... no, this can't be 'appening!" He was jerked down by Dawn's blood-stained hands.  
"Spike... why didn't you save me? You... you could have saved me..." She coughed up another glob of blood and gasped for more air. "You could have saved me... you could have.... at least tried... why didn't you try." She trailed off as Spike started to cry.  
"No no no no no.... no...." His eyes were shut tight when he heard her voice drift off. He slowly opened his eyes and to his surprise Buffy was in his arms... not Dawn.  
"You could have saved me Spike.... Why didn't you save me?" Her eyes expressed so much pain, then in seconds... they had no expression at all.  
"NO!" Spike screamed and jolted right up. He frantically looked around and found himself outside of Dawn's room. "Must've fell asleep..." He looked around and opened Dawn's door a crack so he could peek inside. **All is well.** he thought with relief as he saw Dawn soundlessly sleeping. Silently he closed the door and headed downstairs to the kitchen. **"You could have saved me Spike.... Why didn't you save me?"** The haunting words echoed in his mind. **"You could have at least tried** Dawn's pale face flashed in his mind, then suddenly Buffy's slowing heartbeat filled his ears. "Dammit... DAMMIT. I could've saved 'er! WHY THE HELL DIDN'T I SAVE 'ER?" He yelled ferociously, as he kicked a giant hole in the center of the bottom cupboard. Little bits of wood shattered on the ground next to his foot. **End this, end this now you pansy** He knelt down and ripped a larger piece of wood out of the broken cupboard and pressed the point against his chest. **Can't mess up if I'm dead.** He squeezed his eyes shut as he grasped the the wood tight. **I failed...**  
  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
  
A/N: Some people thought it ended there.... but It has only begun! dun dun dun!! lol, ummm..... I'll be back with more by the end of the week! 


	2. Nobody Came

Disclaimer: I dont own anything with Buffy. They all belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. The title 'This Is My Letter To The World' is the title to an Emily Dickinson Poem (Please when reading the poem, read it and try to understand it the way it can go w/ the fiction, not really the way Ms.Dickinson meant it to be... yes I know that sounds stupid, but bare with me). The poem 'Acceptance' is by Robert Frost. All quotes belong to the movie or song they're tagged with. I only own the character Cora.  
  
Summary: After Buffy's death Spike feels responsible for not being able to save her. While the Scooby gang find a way to get Buffy back, Spike tries to deal with his guilt. Will the gang be in time to save Spike from the unthinkable?   
  
Rating: PG-13 for language  
  
Spoilers: I will go through everything in "The Gift"  
  
Distribution: I dont see why not, but please tell me first-- FlpDivA126@aol.com  
  
Author's Note: This picks up RIGHT where the finale left off. The words that are in astrics (ex: *blah*) are said emphatically... or... you get the point. Thoughts are in double astrics (ex: **blah blah**). Oh and I really crave feedback! Please please do review and email if you want! =o)   
  
Special Thankies: To my GREAT spankadelic beta readers-- Amy and Adrianna!! =o) Thanks to you guys for the outstanding feedback, and suggestions to make this story better! Adrianna, thanks sooo soo much for helping me find songs and stuff! Thank you 80! Thank you fellow begger! =o)  
  
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The coarse wood put splinters into his trembling hands as he pressed the sharp point against his chest. "Cant fail, can't fail, can't fail..." He mumbled the words over and over to himself as pain seared through his chest. The wood only penetrated a few centimeters but it felt like a wall of stakes were pressing into him tipped with holy water. He hollered in pain as he realized these were his last moments-- alone, and dejected.  
  
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Laying lost and wounded  
Just myself to blame  
Have no life and  
Been hand fed pain  
  
Head's a crying wasteland  
Filled with shame  
Cried for help before and  
Nobody came  
~Excerpt From 'No Body Came'~~ silverchair  
  
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"Oh my God Spike! No!" She fell out of her chair when he took the piece of wood and held it high; he whispered a soft chant to it, but Buffy could only make out two words-- "Can't fail." Buffy watched in horror as he started to push the stake into his flesh. She got up and started pounding on the singled out box of Spike. "Spike no! No Spike, don't! *STOP!*" She looked around helplessly and turned her gaze back to the window. "Giles! Giles where the hell are you? Giles, Giles, Giles... Hurry home!" She grazed her eyes all over the window to see if anyone was nearing Spike at all, then her eyes locked on a serine picture. Dawn. Buffy bursted out into screams, "Dawn! Wake up! Wake up Dawn! DAWN!" Her eyes were filled with frightful tears as she stood there, helpless.  
  
  
The night air chilled her tear-streaked cheeks. She listened to the fellow blonde's words in disbelief, and before she could even get a word but "no" in, she was faced with serious, pleading eyes. Waterfalls of tears sped down her cheeks, and she stood shaky with fear. Wind blew in her face as she watched her sister dive into swirls and swirls of lightning. "DAWN!" A familiar voice called, then a thunderous boom made her jolt upright from her bed. Sweat trailed down the side of her face as she heaved in as much air as she could. She started off her bed to get a glass of water from her kitchen. She opened the door to her room and lagged to the stairs. Suddenly a bone-chilling yell came from the kitchen, and fear grew in the pit of her stomach. "Spike," she whispered to herself, her bottom lip trembling. She ran down the stairs as fast as she could and once she reached the kitchen the sight before her almost made her faint. She opened her mouth, but to her dismay no sound seemed to come out. Spike didn't notice her there, partly because his eyes were shut tight, trying to take in the pain he deserved.  
Centimeter by centimeter the wood dug into his skin, and blood dripped into his hands. To Dawn's surprise she let out a piercing scream, but felt dizzy and passed out on the floor.  
  
Agony swam through his body, and soon his ears hurt from a deafening screech. It took him a few seconds to process that it wasn't *him* who made the noise-- it was Dawn. He opened his eyes to see her stomach-flat on the floor, then he looked down to see the fragment of wood in his chest. Unfortunately, for him, the wood stopped before his heart, barely missing it by a hairline. He tore it out quickly, and gave a silent grunt. "Bloody hell..." He threw it behind him on the floor, and was at Dawn's side in moments. Carefully he turned her around and patted her cheeks lightly. "C'mon Nibblet, wake up. Wake up fo' me."   
Slowly, she opened her eyes and gave a weary smile, but soon the smile faded into a disappointed glare. "What were you thinking?" She sat up quickly, and burned her eyes into his. In those orbs Spike detected fear, anger, and shame. He hung his head low, but could still feel her piercing glare. "*Well?*" Her tone was firm, but hurt. His sad, ocean blue eyes met her gaze, and that was all she needed as a response. "Spike... come on, maybe you need some rest too." She stood up, and helped him on his way. They were midway up the stairs when Willow, Tara, and Giles walked through the door arguing about something Buffy-oriented. They stayed there, completely oblivious to the others, and watched the lively conversation between sides-- Willow and Tara vs. Giles.  
"All I'm telling you, Giles, is that I can do it! Both of us can!" Willow's voice pleaded, but whatever the idea was, her tone didn't phase Giles at all. Tara only stood in the backround, shaking her head emphatically.  
"It's ridiculous Willow!" He went on, taking off his glasses and rubbing them with the bottom of his shirt. "An act like this can either be too dangerous, or too much! Even for witches like you and Tara. No, just no!"  
"Well I dont care what you say! I'm only looking for your support Giles, not your approval! A little help would do good too, but... but I guess I'll have to look for books somewhere else!" Her voice was now hard, and her facial expression showed she wasn't backing down.   
Tara still stood in front of the door while Giles and Willow argued in the living room. She soon noticed the quiet spectators and made her way up the stairs. The other two ranted on as Dawn gave Tara a confused look. "What's going on?"  
"Willow and I... w-we think we can bring Buffy back, but Giles.... Giles doesn't think it's a good idea."   
"Why no--" Dawn was interrupted by Spike's booming voice.  
"Bloody hell Giles! If we 'ave a way ta get 'er back, why can't we juss bleedin' well do it?" He rushed down the stairs and Giles felt as if he were being ambushed.  
"Like I told Willow-- it's too much! It's too dangerous! She could come back as anything.... even the possibility of anything *but* human!" He shook his head and sat down on the seat to his left.   
Spike groaned in frustration and kneeled down next to Buffy's body, almost as if to seek comfort. He shut his eyes tight, and again screams of guilt filled his mind. Willow looked upon Spike sadly and kneeled next to him, placing a warm hand on his. "We all miss her..."  
Surprisingly, Spike jerked out of her grasp and stood up, giving everyone icy cold glares. "You all miss 'er, *WE* all miss 'er... But you lot dont 'ave 'er blood on your 'ands! You're not *responsible* for 'er death!"   
Willow slowly got up, and tried to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Spike... it's not--"   
Again, he jerked out of her grasp and pounded on the table. "NO! It *is* my fault, and I *will* bloody get 'er back! Even if I 'ave to face 'nother Ghorra demon!" With that he took a dark blanket, and his car keys, and ran out the door. Everyone stayed silent, listening to the hurling engine, and squeaking tires of Spike's DeSoto until it was too far to be heard. Silence.   
In that silence Willow thought over and over about her options-- leave her best friend dead... or find a way to get her back. "I'm going to the Magic Shop," she finally spoke up, "and I'm finding a way to get her back, *with* or without your help. I called Angel alittle over two hours ago and told him about Buffy. He supports this idea, he'll be here to help." She stood in defiance for a moment, then turned for the door.   
Giles let out a long exasperated sigh. "Willow..." he paused for a moment to rethink about what he was about to say. She turned around and looked at him with a stern look. "If you find anything... I'll be here... looking through books as well."   
A bright, faithful smile appeared on Willow's face. "Thanks" was her only response.  
"Well I guess we're goin' to the Magic Shop!" Dawn put in with a grin.  
  
  
"He'll be fine." A voice tore her from her worries as she watched Spike open his eyes with a piece of wood in his chest.  
"Oh Good God!" She whipped around, startled, not expecting anyone to creep up behind her. "Th-the wood, it's... it's in his chest. H-he's not dust!" She stammered on as the lady being smiled at her.  
"It's only if the wood hits the heart and is pulled out of the chest when a vampire turns to dust. To his dismay... the wood was millimeters away from his heart, if even that." Buffy whipped her head back around to see Spike just peachy next to her little sister. She looked back at the being and took note of her wide smile.  
"What's so funny? Do you find this funny?" The smile only got wider, but soon faded into a serious stare.  
"It's not his time yet... but soon... soon." Soon. The word echoed in Buffy's mind.  
  
  
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A/N: Yes yes, it was short! SUE ME! oh well, ummmmmmm....... yeah. Keep in mind that in *my* fic:: Willow didn't GO to Angel to tell him about Buffy's death..... she just merely CALLED him =o) Thank you, have a nice day.   
Oh and to Angie: Yes, there IS Angel in my story!! But.... I dont think he's going to be Buffy's beau for my fic... Im more for the Buffy/Spike shipping =o( sorrie! But Please keep reading!!! Thanks to my other readers out there!!  
  
  



	3. Tragic News

Disclaimer: I dont own anything with Buffy. They all belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. The title 'This Is My Letter To The World' is the title to an Emily Dickinson Poem (Please when reading the poem, read it and try to understand it the way it can go w/ the fiction, not really the way Ms.Dickinson meant it to be... yes I know that sounds stupid, but bare with me). The poem 'Acceptance' is by Robert Frost. All quotes belong to the movie or song or whoever/whatever they're tagged with. I only own the characters Cora and Angita.  
  
Summary: After Buffy's death Spike feels responsible for not being able to save her. While the Scooby gang find a way to get Buffy back, Spike tries to deal with his guilt. Will the gang be in time to save Spike from the unthinkable?   
  
Rating: PG-13 for language  
  
Spoilers: I will go through everything in "The Gift"  
  
Distribution: I dont see why not, but please tell me first-- FlpDivA126@aol.com  
  
Author's Note: This picks up RIGHT where the finale left off. The words that are in astrics (ex: *blah*) are said emphatically... or... you get the point. Thoughts are in double astrics (ex: **blah blah**). Oh and I really crave feedback! Please please do review and email if you want! =o)   
  
Special Thankies: To my GREAT spankadelic beta readers-- Amy and Adrianna!! =o) Thanks to you guys for the outstanding feedback, and suggestions to make this story better! Adrianna, thanks sooo soo much for helping me find songs and stuff! Thank you 80! Thank you fellow begger! =o)  
  
  
  
  
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Everyone can master a grief but he that has it.  
~~ William Shakespeare  
  
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Ring Ring  
The phone rang loudly just as they began to walk in. Everyone was so happy to be back home. He answered it with a smile on his face, but didn't know of the tragedy in the news to come. "Angel Investigations, how can I help you?"   
"Angel..." A soft, sad whisper came from the other end.   
"Willow? What's wrong?" The smile faded. He knew what was wrong... or at least what the 'wrong' was about.   
"Buffy... Buffy's dead..." Angel could barely hear her words, but after she said it, he wished he hadn't. He was silent for a few minutes, trying to take in what he was just told. "Angel? Are you still there?"  
Silence.  
"Angel?" This time Willow's voice was audible, but sounded almost as if she were going to cry.  
"Y-yeah... I'm here. How? Who?" He stumbled onto his words, completely denying the reality in his mind.  
"Well... can I tell you later? Right now I need you over here... *we* need you over here. The gang and I, I mean. I-I have an idea to bring Buffy back... but I'm going to need your help." Willow tried to sound strong, she tried to sound brave... but Angel knew better.  
"I-I'll be there... what do you need?"  
"Bring all the books on resurrections you can find... and come quick."  
"Okay... bye." With that he hung up the phone, slowly, and still in denial. He sat down for a second and ran his fingers through his dark brown hair. **This can't be happening... this can't be happening...* Four words pounding in his mind. Suddenly all the memories he had of her rushed over him. They hit him so intensely it was hard to swallow, and his stomach churned. Flashes and flashes of all the good times came, then slowed down to a complete hault and froze on the memory of the last time they saw each other. Their last kiss. He could remember exactly how she smelled, how she tasted... but now... now all that was gone. **I'm getting her back.**  
He pounded his fist into his desk causing it to cave in. He rushed out of the room and strided into the lobby. Apparently Cordy, Gunn, and Wesley heard the loud punch and watched with confused expressions as he started up the stairs. He was mumbling to himself, and they could only make out the words "can't" "books" and the phrase "gotta go".  
"Angel?" Wesley asked, confusion and concern in his voice. Unexpectedly Angel whipped around and stared at Wesley with sad eyes.  
"Wesley I want you and Cordelia to find every resurrection book we have. Gunn, get me some weapons... guns, swords, axes... anything." **Whoever killed her will go through excruciating pain** The sadness indicated in his eyes turned to fury as he stormed up the flight of steps. "And I want them by an hour!" His distant voice yelled out.  
The trio stood there for a moment, looking at each other, confusion written all over their faces.   
"I thought he'd be happy to be back home..." Cordy said breaking the silence. They shrugged and went their seperate ways-- finding what needed to be found, and retrieving them for their less than happy boss.  
  
Wesley quietly entered Angel's room to find him packing clothes into a suitcase. "Angel? Is everything alright?" Angel only gave him a sideglance, and continued on with his packing. He took out another bag and furiously shoved 10 stakes, his axe, and 2 tranquelizer guns in. Wesley watched in confusion at the scene before him.  
"Has Gunn gotten back with the weapons yet?" He never looked up, just kept packing.  
"No... I dont believe so." Wesley talked slowly as he watched Angel scurry around the room to find things.  
"Did you find any books?" Again, he didn't look up.  
"Well, we've only found 2 so far... but Cordy's looking for more. There's this one book here though that I'm not too sure of." He inched closer to Angel holding the book. Angel took it and began flipping through the pages. "Angel what's wrong? What's going on?"  
Silence.  
"This is good, find more like this one." He shoved the book back to Wesley, and turned around to his suitcase. To his surprise Wesley grabbed his shoulder and turned him back around.  
"Angel, I really dont mind searching for these books, but can you tell me what's happening? Why are we looking for books and weapons? And why are you packing all your clothes?" Concern glinted off his eyes as he held a firm grip on Angel's shoulder.  
Angel let out a long sigh and sat down on his bed. His head hung low as he rubbed his palms together, ready to pass on the awful news. "Buffy... Buffy's dead." He choked out.  
"Oh my..." Wesley took a seat next to him.  
"Willow called and told me. I'm going over there for her resurrection... and I might be staying there for a while. If things dont work out I might stay for a long while... help out. She never told me about Dawn's condition, so I might stay there to take care of her too." Wesley could hear the grief in his voice.  
"I see... Would you like the rest of us to come with you?"   
"No, just get me what I asked and I'll be fine." Wesley nodded and got up for the door. Before reaching for the doorknob he slightly shifted around.  
"I'm sorry Angel. We all loved her dearly... and we all know how much she meant to you." He shifted again and was midway out the door before Angel stopped him.  
"Thanks Wes. C-could you not tell Cordy until after I leave?" He stayed planted on the bed, and his head still hung low.  
"Yes, of coarse. I'll call Gunn and tell him to quicken his pace. We'll have everything done by the hour." He left and closed the door behind him. Angel sat in silence and began to weep uncontrolably. All the memories flashing through his mind once more.  
  
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There is no greater sorrow than to recall, in misery, the time when we were happy.  
~~ Dante  
  
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Before they left for the shop they thought it best to move Buffy's body. As much as they hated to say it, she wasn't the greatest smelling thing in the world now that she was dead. Dawn gathered some vanilla inscents that Willow got for her one Christmas and began to light them around Buffy's old room. Willow, Giles, and Tara worked on moving her body in. They layed her in her bed and pulled the cover over her... as if she were still alive. They fluffed her pillow under her head, and tucked her in like a small child. The aroma of the inscents filled the room and they silently exited, Dawn being the last one. Before closing the door behind her, she peeked her head inside and in a soft whisper she spoke to her sister, "We'll get you back... I promise. Sleep tight Buffy..." A single tear sped down her cheek as she quietly closed the door, careful not to make a sound.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Soon? What do you mean *soon*?" Buffy's eyes grew dreadful as she watched the female being fade away. Her only response was the word 'soon' echoing off the walls. "WHY THE HELL DO YOU WANT TO MESS WITH EVERYONE I LOVE? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO SCREW UP THEIR LIVES?" She yelled out into air. Frustration, worry, and fear built up inside of her and it all soon poured out of her mouth in the form of a scream. It was a gut-wrenching, ear-piercing howl. After what seemed like an eternity, her throat grew sore and no more sound could manage to come out of her mouth. Her throat itched with pain and the only thing she could do was watch the life she was missing out on. She sat back against the wooden chair and clutched her throat gently. She watched with blurred eyes the arguement between sides, Spike's determined exit, and the moving of her body. She watched closely as Dawn spoke silently to her... promising to have her back, and wishing her a nice rest. The scene was heartbreaking and Buffy immediately broke into hot tears. She shifted her eyes to Xander and Anya.   
Anya looked so peaceful, so tranquil. No one would ever have guessed most of her past life was devoted to revenge. Xander stayed by her unconscious state for hours, awaiting news of her recovery... and of plans to have Buffy back. He kept glancing at the clock on the bedside table... just waiting. He let out a sigh as he read the time- 9:52 AM.  
He was a total wreck. His hair was disheveled, skin pale, eyes puffy, and his hands sat shaky on Anya's. Moments later his hands slipped inside his pockets and in his left hand he took out a small velvet blue box. He gazed at it intently, and slowly opened it. Buffy watched as he took out an engagement ring and fiddled with it in his hands. Tears welled up in her eyes once more as he slowly glided the ring onto her finger, then gently kissed her hand. He leaned in slightly, close to her ear, and whispered, "You know the funny thing is... if anyone were to have died or get seriously hurt last night, I thought it would've been me." He paused and tilted his head down a little, "But instead... you got hurt. And Buffy died. Oh God Ahn... I wish *I* could be in both your and Buffy's place... God how I wish so much. Things were supposed to turn out perfect. We'd beat that self-absorbed bitch on wheels from Hell, and then after we'd have a big wedding." He paused again, smiling to himself sadly and went on in a more huskier tone. "The one you'd always dream of-- lots of flowers, big white church, all our friends.... Buffy would've been our Maid Of Honor." A single tear trailed to his lips, and he slowly kissed her on the cheek. "Please Anya.... please come back to me." He dug his head between her shoulder and neck and silently sobbed.   
Buffy's heart sank. She balled herself up in a fetal position, bringing her knees close to her and wrapping her arms tightly around them, as she shed rueful tears.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
His heart was in agonizing pain. It was as if someone gauged it out with a wooden spoon covered with splinters and let it bake in the sun. He drove fast, speeding past all who happened to be there with hard music blasting through his speakers. The funny thing was though, he never heard the music... all he heard were the accusations screaming in his head. **Where to go? Where to go?** he asked himself in his head as he drove aimlessly into the heart of the desert... the middle of nowhere. To his surprise he found himself sitting in his DeSoto staring at a cozy shack-like house. The Craftsman Bungalow looked to be a model between early 1900's to maybe late 1920's. The small porch was held up with square columns and had an unusual amount of hanging plants dangling from various hooks. Each of them gave off their own fragrance, leaving the mixture intoxicating. The thatched roof hung over the compact home with wide eaves and decorative brackets. Because the roof was so large a capula sat on the left side, letting the sunshine glimmer off the glass windows. It was surprising to see that this house still stood in the middle of the desert. He knew the land was dry, but as he got out of his car he looked closer to the sides of the house. Spike gave a barely-there smile as he noticed ivy growing up the bungalow siding. He walked up the creaky stairs of the porch and was suddenly engulfed with large vines. Like snakes, they wrapped themselves around his body. When he tried to yell for help a vine wrapped itself around his mouth, and it covered his whole self tightly. He shut his eyes tight, trying not to accept his defeat. **Damn, I can't fail again...* In mere seconds a stake was held to his heart by a petite brunette. "William The Bloody... to what do I owe this visit?"  
  
  
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"Those who are prepared to die for any cause are seldom defeated."  
~~Jawaharlal Nehru  
  
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	4. In the Hands of Danger and Hatred

Disclaimer: I dont own anything with Buffy. They all belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. The title 'This Is My Letter To The World' is the title to an Emily Dickinson Poem (Please when reading the poem, read it and try to understand it the way it can go w/ the fiction, not really the way Ms.Dickinson meant it to be... yes I know that sounds stupid, but bare with me). The poem 'Acceptance' is by Robert Frost. All quotes belong to the movie or song or whoever/whatever they're tagged with. I only own the characters Cora and Angita.  
  
Summary: After Buffy's death Spike feels responsible for not being able to save her. While the Scooby gang find a way to get Buffy back, Spike tries to deal with his guilt. Will the gang be in time to save Spike from the unthinkable?   
  
Rating: PG-13 for language  
  
Spoilers: I will go through everything in "The Gift"  
  
Distribution: I dont see why not, but please tell me first-- FlpDivA126@aol.com  
  
Author's Note: This picks up RIGHT where the finale left off. The words that are in astrics (ex: *blah*) are said emphatically... or... you get the point. Thoughts are in double astrics (ex: **blah blah**). Oh and I really crave feedback! Please please do review and email if you want! =o)   
  
Special Thankies: To my GREAT spankadelic beta readers-- Amy and Adrianna!! =o) Thanks to you guys for the outstanding feedback, and suggestions to make this story better! Adrianna, thanks sooo soo much for helping me find songs and stuff! Thank you 80! Thank you fellow begger! =o) And a VERY special thanks to Drusilla for giving me ideas, and ingredients that help out my spell! YOU ROCK!  
  
Author's Note #2: I will be introducing Cora and Angita THIS chapter so here are the meanings to their names--  
Cora: (Also named Kora) is a Greek goddess. Her name means "the maiden" or "the daughter" and it is a frequent epithet of Persephone. She is the daughter of Demeter and she is the wife of Hades *so basically what I'm gunna do is have her have the power that Demeter mostly was granted with. That power was kind of a green thumb. She brought forth the fruits of the earth and grains... in my story she's also a GREAT gardener and stuff. And because she's the wife of Hades, she's vicious! Just read*   
Angita: An early Roman goddess of healing and witchcraft. *so basically here, she's a powerful witch of healing and witchcraft..... that was self exlplanitory. You just have to read the story to find things out*  
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The door creaked slightly as they opened the hospital room door. They quietly came in to find Xander sleeping silently next to Anya's still body. Tara followed Dawn as they sat down slowly on chairs opposite of Xander, and Giles stood at the foot of Anya's bed. He wiped his glasses with the bottom of his shirt and let out a long sigh. Willow approached Xander carefully and gently patted him on the back.  
"Poor guy..." she whispered sadly. With the light pat he woke up. Through groggy eyes he turned to see his surroundings.  
"I guess it wasn't all a big nightmare like I hoped..." His voice was low and raspy as he looked deeply into Willow's eyes. Willow nodded slowly, and Xander broke into sudden sobs. She pulled him close and tried her best to hush the cries away.  
"We're getting her back Xander... we're getting both of them back. I promise, or I'll die trying." Willow's reassuring voice calmed him down a bit, but they still held on tight to each other.   
Dawn watched, through blurry eyes, the desperate hope radiating from their bodies. It kept them strong. She reached for Anya's hand and grasped tight. **We'll get both of you back... the BOTH of you....**  
  
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"When my strength dies, I will die."  
~Sophocles (Antigone)  
  
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He rushed to his black convertible and threw all his bags in the back. The heat from the sun felt wonderful on his pale skin, and he looked around the sky thoughtfully. He rubbed the ring of Amara around his finger and climbed in the driver's seat. Wesley came out with two other stuffed duffel bags and dropped them on top of the rest of Angel's belongings. He watched as Angel started the engine, and was surprised at how Angel just sat there still... letting the engine run.  
"You'll save her Angel... she saved *you* once, this is your chance to return the favor." Angel stared intensely at Wesley and slowly nodded. He got out of the car and gave him a quick, tight hug.  
"Thank you Wes... remember to take care of Cordy while I'm gone." He jumped back into his car and sped off into the horizon.   
It was 45 minutes into the drive when he took out his cell phone Cordelia had given him and dialed Buffy's phone number. *Willow's probably there ... and if not there, she'll be at the hospital ... and if not there, she'll be at the shop...* His mind spun around as the phone rang and rang. His thoughts were broken when a familiar voice picked up.  
"Hello..." *That voice.... Buffy?* "... Buffy //a distant voice from behind// 'and Dawn!' aren't here to take your call right now. So sorry, but please leave your name and number and we'll be back with you ASAP..." Angel took an unneeded breath as he listened to Buffy's voice. "... Dammit... Dawn, how do you turn this thing off? Oh ... here it-- *BEEP*" He chuckled to himself softly as he heard the last seconds of the message. *She never was good at electronics ... always made Will do all that technology stuff* He smiled to himself sadly. "Willow ... where are you?" He dialed the hospital number Willow had left him earlier.  
"Hello?" a cheerful sounding nurse answered.  
"Yes, hi, can you please connect me to a young lady in the ICU by the name of..." he drifted off realizing he didn't know Anya's last name ... or the last name she made up for herself.   
"Excuse me, what's her name?" The nurse calmly asked.  
"Anya.... Anya Harris." *Xander... she could've taken his name.* He could hear the tapping and clicking of the keyboard on the other end of the line. To his surprise the nurse came back in an instant.  
"Yes,... Anya Harris in the ICU is it? I'll make the connection in one moment. Please hold." Within a millisecond the sounds of Beethoven filled his ear -- Bagatelle in G minor -- he noted. After ten seconds of speedy detached notes, he heard the phone ring twice. Then abruptly a hoarse female voice answered.  
"Yes? Hello?" The voice was husky, but Angel could still recognize it.  
"Dawn!" He was so relieved to know she had lived. "Hey...can I talk to Willow?"  
"Angel? Hey...yeah...," she cleared her throat, "one second." That time her voice was more clear. In moments Willow's sniffs were heard.  
"Angel? Are you coming?" Her voice was as husky as Dawn's. *They'd all been crying recently* he thought sadly.  
"Yeah... I'm on my way. I'm bringing 4 books about resurrection...sorry that's all I could find."  
"No, no...it's all right. Thanks so much for helping us out on this." She sniffed again.  
"Yeah...well anything for Buffy..." he drifted off slowly.   
Silence.  
"Well, um, while I'm talking to you now, can you tell me a little about what's happening? Who...who..." Angel started but choked at the end. He couldn't get out that word...that dreadful, awful word. MURDERED. He regained his composure and tried to start again, only he started a little softer this time. "Who...murdered Buffy?"  
Silence.  
"Willow? Will?" Came his shaky voice.  
"Well, um, it's kind of a long story actually." Her voice was getting staticky but Angel could still hear and make out her grief-struck words. He saw a bridge he'd have to go under nearing, and wanted to rush her, but he just couldn't. "You see... Spike, he-----" All words after that was cut off by static while driving underneath the wide bridge. Then to his dismay he heard a taunting dial tone.... *beep beep beep*... that rang in his ear.  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" He yelled out. "DAMN YOU SPIKE! YOU DID THIS?" His stomach churned while his heart knotted. Pain was all he had his mind set out for right now... a delivery of pain and anguish to her killer. Spike.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Well, um, it's kind of a long story actually." She could hear the static pulsating at her every word, but after a moment she went on. "You see... Spike, he tried to help, but he just couldn't. He tried so hard...he feels awful Angel..." The static got louder and louder, then suddenly the phone just went silent. No static. Just silence. "Angel?" Her only response was the annoying *beep beep beep* of a dial tone. She frowned and gave a long sigh. *He'll just have to hear the story when he gets here.* He handed the phone back to Dawn and shook her head. She placed it back on the cradle silently. Willow gave Xander a hug from behind as he watched Anya intently.   
"I better go. I'm going to do some research to get Buffy back...okay?" Her tone was a whisper as Xander nodded at every word, eyes still set on Anya's face.  
He then got up after 15 seconds, but never turned his gaze from Anya. "I'll come with you...," he started, but was silenced by Willow's hands on his shoulders.  
"Sit." She pushed him down onto the chair. "You stay here. When she wakes up...which she will Xander... she will... she'll need to see *your* face, not an empty room." Xander put his hand on top of Anya's, then his other on Willow's. He gave both a tight squeeze. Willow smiled a weary smile and squeezed back. "I'll call you if I need you." Xander nodded, never looking away from Anya's surreal face.   
She turned around to leave as the rest of the party, except Xander, got up to leave with her. Giles was the last to go, turning around to say one last thing. "We'll be at the shop if you need us. If Angel comes here... send him down...the same with Spike." He hesitated to leave, and waited for Xander's silent nod. When he got one, he left the room and shut the door quietly.   
Once they were gone Xander took Anya's hand and kissed it lightly. "You hear that Ahn? Everyone's trying really hard to get you and Buffy back with us.... come on. Beat them to it.... please wake up." Again he rested his next to hers and drifted off into sleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The vines held a tight grip on his body. He was sure if he needed oxygen...he wouldn't have access to it now. They crushed his ribs, and he stared at the wooden point with fear. He grumbled and tried to speak but the vines held tightly around his mouth too.  
"What's that Spike? I didn't quite understand you." The brunette asked hardly, pressing the stake harder against his chest. Spike hollered through pressed lips, shutting his eyes tightly with pain. The girl gave a disgusted smirk and pulled back the stake. "Release," she simply stated as all the vines fell limp at his feet. She twirled the stake around in one hand with the greatest of ease and placed it in her pocket.  
"Cora...," he grunted out, but that was all he could get to say before Cora gave him an unexpected roundhouse kick in the face. Spike flew to the side, almost falling off the porch steps. As soon as he looked up he saw a foot coming at his stomach which he grabbed with swift vampire speed. Once grabbed she alternated legs and kicked him straight in his sore ribs. He flew back again, his spine smacking the side of his DeSoto. He hugged his ribs in pain and saw Cora attacking again. She tried to step on his ribs again, but he caught her foot, and twisted. "Malicious lil 'bit now aren't you?" He managed out as she landed hard on the ground. Spike stood up, still grabbing his ribs, as she stood up too. "Are we done?" He asked.   
"Not nearly," she spat out, then ran at him full speed, yelling to the top of her lungs. A set of punches, jabs, uppercuts, and combinations of kicks came his way as he tried to dodge and block them all. She moved with near speed of a slayer, and got 3 hits in out of what must have been 20 attempts. With her last punch Spike pulled in her arm, twisted it and pushed it against her back. She squirmed and fidgeted, trying to get out of his hold, but it just wasn't enough.  
"*Now* are we done, Cora?" His voice was gruff, and irritation was detectable. She gave a small nod, and Spike loosened his grip. He never let go, though.  
"So why are you here? Honestly." She panted out.  
"I need your 'elp Cora... you an' Angita's." He let her go and she fell back, landing on her bottom. Spike stared deeply into her eyes, pleading with his own. Cora looked at him skeptically and finally spoke.  
"You need *our* help? With what? What happened to your little Doc? Doesn't *he* help you now? You turned your back on our service years ago." Her tone was harsh, and her face grew red. She stood up, brushing the desert dirt off her tight pants.  
Spike looked down with sad eyes, remembering last night and the tower, and answered in a grim tone. "Doc... he... he killed my true love. That's what I need your 'elp wit'. I need you ta bring 'er back ta life." He gazed sadly into her eyes and was shocked at her response.  
She laughed. She laughed an evil laugh as if she were amused by his plea. His jaw tightened with anger as she stopped with a chuckle and looked back at him with another skeptic look. "Oh come on Spike. *Drusilla*? You want us to bring back *that* crazy bitch? I should thank the doc!" She laughed again as Spike clenched and unclenched his jaw.  
"Well fo' *your* information, it's not Dru I'm tryin' to get back. I loved someone else." His sapphire eyes bore into Cora's, and at the moment she heard that he wasn't hooked on Drusilla anymore, her curiousity ran overload. She stared back, interest glinting off her eyes.  
"Oh?" Was her only response for a few seconds. "Who Spike? Another insane vamp that talks to the stars?" Another chuckle escaped her lips. She stood with one knee bent, arms crossed, and awaited his answer. He opened his mouth but was beat to the answer by a familiar voice.  
"The Slayer," came a Greek-Italian accent.  
Both Cora and Spike whipped their heads around to find Angita standing in the doorway, holding a bowl and wooden spoon. "Keepin' tabs on me Angie?" Cora growled at Spike's remark.  
"I heard about it on the way to the market this morning. A lot of bads out there are celebrating. And dont call me that, pig." She continued to stir the mixture in her bowl as she gave him a disgusted glare.  
"What's wrong luv, juss an ol' nickname." He eyed her up and down. *Still looks the same as last time....* His eyes fixated on her golden locks. *Just like Buffy's.* His thoughts brought him back the mind-numbing pain.  
"From a long long long time ago," Cora stated dryly.   
"Look, whatever, I'm sorry 'bout the past, but I really need your 'elp." He switched his pleading gaze back and forth from the two witches as he waited for their response. After what seemed like an eternity Cora finally spoke.  
"Fine, we'll do it, but the requirements for this spell.... are rather difficult." Spike looked at them with, confusion plastered all over his face.  
"You two are the most talented and advanced witches I know. How can this be difficult?" Silence filled the air as the duo exchanged looks. To Spike's surprise, a book floated out of the house and into Cora's hands. She flipped a few pages and read the text quickly.   
"You see," she started turning the book and handing it to him, "the ritual can not be performed by us. My family... *and* Angita's family already used this spell. This spell can only be used once by each family. Plus... you need a *real* powerful pair of witches to pull this off." As she finished, Angita further explained.   
"And the ingredients are tough to gather. Some skin of the witches, yeah, that's easy... but the blood of her mother... I heard she was dead. The tears of a sibling. A few herbs... those are okay, 'cause I think we have those, *but* the very last ingredient... that's the hardest of them all." Her thick accent ran through his mind as he read the page of the spell thoroughly. When he read the last ingredient to make everything work he nodded with sad approval.  
"The corpse of a loved one. Skin, bones, organs, 'n all." He read out loud realizing what he had to do.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
He drove in anguish... his heart burning, his soul screaming. Finally, after an hour of thinking all the possibile ways Spike could've killed Buffy, he pulled over to the side of the highway and took out his bag of weapons. He layed them out one by one on his back seat. Taking out two daggers he twirled them in his hands, studying the weight, the point, the curves of the design. He put them down softly. Then he took out a longsword. Every inch made of stainless steel. He layed that down carefully in the back. He searched his bags and found bottles, syringes, and other containers of holy water. Lastly, he took out a shortsword made of the same stainless steal of his other one, but the handle caught his eye. Engraved was a short story, the story of a pair of forbidden lovers. One lover was presumed dead, and the other lover wanted to be with her so much, he killed himself. The irony of it all was she was alive... only to find her soulmate dead next to her. Angel didn't bother to read the rest of the story. He only tilted his head up to the sky, letting the sun kiss his face as he thought of Buffy. "Romeo & Juliet...," Angel thought out loud. He thought for a moment, and shoved all the weapons back into the sack. He pulled back into the road quickly, and drove 20 miles per hour over the speed limit. "Dont worry Buffy... Romeo's coming..."  
  
  
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"The rage in my eyes  
Could have compared to the eye of a sun."  
  
~~ Creed, Line from "Is This The End?"  
  
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A/N: Dun dun dun........... does Angel go and kill Spike before they do the spell? Who will Spike have to kill to make the ingredients to the ritual complete? Stay tuned for the next chapter of..... interesting music.... "This Is My Letter... *TO* The World."  
  
Oh and again, sorry for the short chapter. 


End file.
